Simple Pleasures...

Watching a baseball game while working through a bag of Peanuts (Remember when a ballpark used to reek of cigar smoke, beer, hot dogs, fresh cut grass and dirt? The sights and sounds of pregame BP and warm ups? People using their scorecards? Organ music? That was atmosphere! There was no blaring hip- hop "music" or idiots using spud guns to shoot cheap t-shirt's into the stands? Nobody talking on their cell phone next to you; people were there to watch the game).

Southern cooking (It's hard to beat pork bbq, fried chicken, catfish, fried okra, hushpuppies, slaw, greens, pintos, sweet potato pie, banana pudding, iced tea, etc).

Southern humor (Last week I was talking with an elderly friend in Wilmington, North Carolina. He told me "it's so hot- This morning I saw a dog chasin' a cat and they was both walkin'". I've heard dozens of these over the years, I love em'!).

Amateur Sports (In an era of spoiled, cheating professional athletes; watching a good little league, high school, or college game is a distinct pleasure. I'm also disgusted by the owners, unions, and media who enabled these idiots! It really doesn't matter which sport).

Silence (I love not hearing a TV, radio, cell phone ring/ conversation, etc. This is especially true on a nice, long ride. Just the pedals turning on a finely tuned bike).

A good book (I love a comfortable chair, a cup of joe, and a good read. I love feeling the "heft" of a book in my hands!).

The sights and smell of a bike shop (Bikes, wheels, and tires. A mechanic turning a wrench, or truing a wheel. A conversation taking place. If you don't get it, that's o.k. But you're missing out on something beautiful).

Home garden's (Grow your own! It's always better than what you get at the store. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, beats a tomato sandwich with a tomato from your own garden! Plus, playing in the soil is therapeutic).

2009 Capital to Capital Century

Last Saturday I participated in the "Capital to Capital Century" for the second year in a row. The course is beautiful in a way I can only describe as "Southern" in terrain and spring scents. The 100 mile route ventures along portions of the James River, passing colonial plantations and civil war battlefields. Huge portions of it feel like you're passing through a forest. At 8 AM sharp, several hundred of us who were doing the century left Rocketts Landing on the Richmond waterfront heading towards Williamsburg, Virginia's colonial era capital. Rides of 50 and 25 miles left later that morning. Over 1300 cyclists signed up for the various rides.

There's a lot that goes into preparation for a century (if you want everything to go smoothly). Thursday I cleaned the drive train on my bike and did some minor adjustments. I didn't want any "mechanicals" to ruin my ride. Friday night I loaded up the Honda with all the gear I might need and mixed my water bottles (Hammer Nutrition supplements are the best!). The forecast was for the low 80's and probable thunderstorms. Last year was a bit on the cool side and we had a light rain at times. Carol, Jillian, and I got up very early Saturday morning and hit the road. It was nice to have "my girls" there to see me off.

This year I was very prepared, having about 1,100 miles in my legs. In fact, I'd already done rides of 45 (Monday), 40 (Tuesday), and 28 (Thursday) last week to keep my legs loose. So I felt ready for the challenge. My goal was to have a decent time and finish comfortably.

The first 25 was great. I warmed up and jumped into a great paceline of about 15 cyclists and we were clipping along pretty good. I took some fairly long pulls at the front and my computer said I was between 21 to 25 mph. When I'd slide over to let someone else have a go at the front it was really cool to watch the line move past me. I'd slide down until I saw a gap and then move into the line. On the down side; at about mile 20 or so we ran into some pretty rough road. In fact one stretch of chuck holes caused total chaos! The gal next to me bumped wheels with another cyclist and they both went down very hard. Several of us stopped to help. They both had some nasty road rash, but remarkably decided to continue riding! I saw both of them after the ride, bandaged up and happily chatting with their friends. That's pretty hardcore in my book!

During the second 25 I hooked up with 4 0r 5 riders from Rowlett's, a local shop team (They did all the work, I was invited to sit in). We were flying and I rolled into the Williamsburg rest area in good shape! I ate a Clif Bar and banana. Refilled my bottles and rested in the shade for about 15 minutes. I didn't want to sit for too long, when you do that your legs can get pretty stiff. Plus, it was really starting to heat up so I decided to start the trek back towards Richmond.

Miles 50 to 75 were pretty good. Once again I jumped into a pace line and was able to take some long pulls at the front. By now the temp was in the high 80's and it was very humid. I'm a fanatic when it comes to hydration, so I wasn't having any problems, but I started to notice a number of people sitting on the side of the road rubbing their calves, etc. To their credit, the organizer's did provide a "broomwagon" you could call if you had any problems, so I'm sure they were busy.

The last 25 weren't all that bad. My legs were tired, but not destroyed. I backed it down a bit the last 15 miles or so. I had some great company when I teamed up with Craig, a Rowlett's team member. Craig is on their mountain bike team and riding a friend's road bike (A sweet Litespeed!). We were able to pace each other along whilst chatting. Having someone to suffer with makes it go quicker (thanks Craig!) and is part of the experience as far as I'm concerned.

When I crossed the finish line I had a tremendous sense of accomplishment (and I really wanted to park myself in the shade). I grabbed some food and relaxed with "my girls" and fellow cyclists. We swapped tales and just enjoyed each others company. I got a free massage! I absolutely love cycling! Physically, I don't think there's a harder sport from an anaerobic standpoint. It's a great way to stay in shape and it helps you burn stress. I sleep better and it makes me want to watch what I eat. Not only that, I get some of my best ideas for work presentations while I'm riding! It has its own unique "community" and with its rich history it's a great sport to follow as well. I'm hoping to find another century to do later this year. Who knows, maybe I'll just go out and do one on my own...

Capital to Capital Century Prep

This Saturday I'll tackle the "Capital to Capital century" again! It's a 100 mile ride from downtown Richmond to Williamsburg and back. I'm not sure how many people are riding the century, but there are around 1000 cyclists registered for the various rides. It makes for quite an atmosphere. Last year I did it in 5 1/2 hours. I'm in much better shape this year and would like to cut my time down. I've been putting in a lot of time at the gym and have a very decent mileage base this spring. My weight is down and my overall strength is up as a result, so I should feel better the 2nd half of the ride. I've been getting my miles in when I'm home, averaging 40- 50 miles an outing several times a week for the last month or so. I've also found some decent climbs, so I've had a lot more "hill work" this year as well. When all is said and done I'm very pumped for this ride! The route is beautiful, I'm feeling great, and I absolutely love my bike!

I found a really cool link to some info about my first "real bike"! Man, did I ever love that Fuji!! I don't have any idea how many miles I put on that bike, but it felt like a part of me. I wish I still had it.

http://www.classicfuji.com/ClubFuji_1985_Page.htm

Friend Dossier #2- Tom Connolly

When the Connolly family moved from Edinburgh, Scotland to Fresno, Fresno immediately became a better place and Edinburgh has never recovered. I can honestly say that Tom Connolly made my early years tolerable and entertaining! There were numerous times when I was feeling down for a variety of reasons and just being around him was a breath of fresh air. To this day, I've never met a person with a better sense of humor or who cared about his friends more than Tom. I've always appreciated his honesty and sincerity. The following experiences always make me smile and laugh. In fact, I share them with others to this day...

* Tom's family was always very kind to me and I really enjoyed going to his house. His dad was one of the funniest people I've ever met. For example, one time his dad was driving us somewhere and saw a very fat woman waddling down the sidewalk. He said she "looked like 100 lbs of jello in a 50 lb bag"! I use that line to this day! He took us to the horse races a couple of times, I remember falling asleep on a bench. We were in the garage once and he asked me to hand him a "torch". I didn't know what he was talking about! Did he mean blow torch? Who uses a torch? He wanted a flashlight. He thought that was pretty funny! The first time I went to their house, his mom asked me if I wanted a "biscuit". I'd never been offered a biscuit but thought it sounded OK. She brought me a little plate of cookies. I thought that was pretty cool. His sisters, Ann & Louise were always nice as well. I can remember Tom yelling at Louise to shut up their dog, Sammy:)

* The family was hooked on Happy Days and Solid Gold. His dad used to call us into the TV room to check out the Solid Gold dancers. I thought that was hilarious! One time Tom and I were hanging out on our favorite "tanning spot", our thermo nuclear hot roof. We'd managed to get Toms current "dream girl, Kelly F., over to hang out with us. He was rubbing tanning lotion on her shoulders and had a smile a mile wide when he looked at his watch and said "DAMN, I've got to go! Happy Days is on!" He quickly hopped back into the house, threw his shirt on and left! Leaving Kelly confused and me laughing hysterically!

* Tom went through a stage where he had the hots for stoner chicks, or as he called them, "ZZ Top girls!"

* Tom loved to show me British newspapers with crazy pictures from soccer riots! I remember one pic of a girl with a lawn dart stuck in the side of her head! He told me the hooligans would chuck "missiles" i.e. broken beer bottles, lawn darts, etc at their rivals! Crazy!! I think the first day I met Tom (outside McClane's locker room if I remember right) he was wearing a soccer jersey and some snug pants that would've been styling in Edinburgh (but not Fresno).

* Tom always had a love of cars and scooters that apparently afflicts him to this day! We had many a good time tooling around in his Corvair! We'd go to "Dicks" for cheap hamburgers, or go "hang out" on the backside of the airport.

* Tom used to make really cool album covers for our imaginary band "The SKAT Team". SKAT was an acronym for something, I can't remember what though. It had a real "Rude Boy", "Ska" flavor to it. He'd make up some pretty funny song titles on the back. I remember one was "Cuba, a Romantic Country"!

* Tom went on a church sponsored "father/ son camp out" with us once. We rode up the mountain Smart family style, in the back of Dad's pick- up truck. We were hiking in the woods one afternoon and he got pissed when one of the Halverson kids threw a rock at him, so he started rifling rocks back as hard as he could. Brother Halverson complained to dad, who really didn't give a "you know what"! I remember dad felt good when Tom complimented his chili. Tom told jokes and made funny comments in the tent all night, that was one of the best camping trips I remember.

* If you looked up "Kraftwerk" in the encyclopedia you'd see a picture of Tom. Tom is a music FREAK and has pretty good taste. Variety is his middle name! Once flew on a plane with a very fat, sweaty "Buster Bloodvessel" from the Ska band Bad Manners, I was impressed by the story!

* We egged and TP'd many a house back in the day (I'm not proud) and only got caught once! We egged the hell out of some pseudo Nazi kids house; at least we thought he was a Nazi. When your testosterone is flowing, sometimes the thought is all you need. A bunch of us (Me, Tom, Sean S., Bert D, Pat?) set out in the wee hours of the morning in Tom's Corvair, armed with several flats of eggs and chips on our shoulders. When we drove by the kids house we were shocked to see him sitting on his front porch! We drove past, talked it over, and decided his sitting on the porch was "meant to be"! What we didn't expect was for Tom to hop the curb, drive across their lawn, and light him up with his high beams! Insanity ensued as we rained eggs on this kid! The kid retreated into his house (eggs following him inside) screaming for his dad, who came running out in his underwear! Tom, realizing it was time to bolt was grinding his gears trying to get his clutch into reverse! When he did we were practically "burning rubber" in reverse across their lawn (jacking up their grass I'm sure)! When we hit the street Tom pulled forward and started driving down the street, but went only fast enough to let the dad catch up a little, then Tom would drive forward a little more, let him catch up a tad, then drive forward, etc!
While this was happening Bert was chucking eggs at the dad, Sean was screaming "I can't believe this!" over and over, the rest of us were laughing hysterically! The next day we got a call from Tom, we'd been pinched by the cops! The dad had snagged his plate number. An officer called and told us we could clean it up and the parents wouldn't press charges. Tom showed up, we didn't (I can't believe I was that ballsy). I felt guilty for ditching Tom. He told us the parents even fed him!

* In the summer, sometimes we'd go for a walk late at night. If Tom was with us we'd always have to worry that he'd throw a rock or pine cone against a neighbors garage door! He'd say "What would you do if I was to throw this pine cone at that door"? We'd start running fast! KA-BOOM!! We'd hide in a hedge or behind a car! Hangin' with TC was crazy!!

* We did "Air Guitar" at McClane one year. We "performed" Depeche Mode's "People are People" (There's one I wish I could get back. Geeeez!). Tom was the lead singer, I was back up, Brian was Martin Gore, and an Asian kid named Gee played the other keyboard! Some kids cheered, others threw fruit cups at us! In hindsight, I'd throw a fruit cup at myself!

* We (Me, Tom, Pat, and Jason) had an "epic night" on the backside of the airport once. We then drove to Blackbeard's and Tom woke up the next morning with a girls phone number written on his arm, he was excited and called her! He found out later that she was 12 or 13!

* He took a trip back to Scotland once and I wanted to go desperately! I couldn't even come close to paying for something like that so I didn't even broach the subject. It's always been one of my regrets.

Tom, You've always been a solid friend! One of my best!! I have nothing but good memories of hanging out with you and I hope we can get together and reminisce someday soon!

The Wisdom of Joe Sobran

Teach Your Children Well

In my own experience as a father, I have discovered several simple devices that can illustrate to a child's mind the principles on which the modern state deals with its citizens. You may find them helpful, too.

For example, I used to play the simple card game WAR with my son. After a while, when he thoroughly understood that the higher ranking cards beat the lower ranking ones, I created a new game I called GOVERNMENT. In this game, I was Government, and I won every trick, regardless of who had the better card. My boy soon lost interest in my new game, but I like to think it taught him a valuable lesson for later in life.

When your child is a little older, you can teach him about our tax system in a way that is easy to grasp. Offer him, say, $10 to mow the lawn. When he has mowed it and asks to be paid, withhold $5 and explain that this is income tax. Give $1 to his younger brother, and tell him that this is "fair". Also, explain that you need the other $4 yourself to cover the administrative costs of dividing the money. When he cries, tell him he is being "selfish" and "greedy". Later in life he will thank you.

Make as many rules as possible. Leave the reasons for them obscure. Enforce them arbitrarily. Accuse your child of breaking rules you have never told him about. Keep him anxious that he may be violating commands you haven't yet issued. Instill in him the feeling that rules are utterly irrational. This will prepare him for living under democratic government.

When your child has matured sufficiently to understand how the judicial system works, set a bedtime for him and then send him to bed an hour early. When he tearfully accuses you of breaking the rules, explain that you made the rules and you can interpret them in any way that seems appropriate to you, according to changing conditions. This will prepare him for the Supreme Court's concept of the U.S. Constitution as a "living document".

Promise often to take him to the movies or the zoo, and then, at the appointed hour, recline in an easy chair with a newspaper and tell him you have changed your plans. When he screams, "But you promised!", explain to him that it was a campaign promise.

Every now and then, without warning, slap your child. Then explain that this is defense. Tell him that you must be vigilant at all times to stop any potential enemy before he gets big enough to hurt you. This, too, your child will appreciate, not right at that moment, maybe, but later in life.

At times your child will naturally express discontent with your methods. He may even give voice to a petulant wish that he lived with another family. To forestall and minimize this reaction, tell him how lucky he is to be with you the most loving and indulgent parent in the world, and recount lurid stories of the cruelties of other parents. This will make him loyal to you and, later, receptive to schoolroom claims that the America of the postmodern welfare state is still the best and freest country on Earth.

This brings me to the most important child-rearing technique of all: lying. Lie to your child constantly. Teach him that words mean nothing--or rather that the meanings of words are continually "evolving", and may be tomorrow the opposite of what they are today.

Some readers may object that this is a poor way to raise a child. A few may even call it child abuse. But that's the whole point: Child abuse is the best preparation for adult life under our form of GOVERNMENT.

Hell of the North!

Tom Boonen avoided the carnage in the Arenberg Forest and basically brutalized his opponents to win his 3rd Paris- Roubaix in 5 years. He opened up a 15- 20 second gap with 13 kilometers to go and that was that. Never let a two time winner power up the road (easier said than done no doubt)! The Belgian flag should have a cobblestone right smack in the middle of it.

More Important Things...

Last Sunday was a great day! We went to Easter Mass at St. Joseph's, it was a beautiful service and really reminded me of what's ultimately important in life. God and family. God has truly blessed me in innumerable ways, far more than I deserve! I cannot possibly express how thankful I am for all that He has done for me. I'm even thankful for the trials. They've made me a spiritually stronger and more sympathetic person. There's a lot of disturbing things going on in our country and the world on many levels. Most, if not all of it angers and disgusts me. It's as if a fire hose of ignorance has been opened up by and on humanity. However, it's important to not lose sight of the of the many, many wonderful things that happen on a daily basis as well.

I just want to leave "the vineyard" in a little better shape for my posterity. The older I get, the more apparent my own mortality becomes I guess.

Belgian Bad Ass!!

Stijn (Stain) Devolder, and his posterity, will never have to pay for a beer in Belgium again after he won his second consecutive Tour of Flanders! With 261 km of racing in the wind and on some perversely steep cobbled hills, you must have an iron will, legs, and lungs to finish this race, let alone win it! What a perfect stud this guy is!

This week the "Monuments" continue with Ghent- Wevelgem and my personal favorite, Paris- Roubaix. I predict good rides from Fabian Cancellera, Heinrich Haussler, and Tom Boonen. Cobbles, cobbles, cobbles!!

I had a great ride yesterday. It was a beautiful 68 degrees, I did both hills on Old Gun Road and felt great! 44 miles in 2 1/2 hrs! Today it poured rain (urgh!), so I hit the gym after I did my office work. I'm really looking forward to the Capital to Capital Century next month. It's a beautiful ride from Richmond to Williamsburg and back. Last year I was recovering from a back injury, I finished just fine but was suffering a little towards the end. I'm in much better shape this year and want to finish strong.