Story Songs

Earlier this week I was using "the facilities" at a restaurant in Silver Spring, Maryland (side note-If Somalia is wondering where all of its citizens disappeared to, they're in Silver Spring, MD, Columbus, OH & driving Taxi's in NYC) and what's playing on the in house play list but "Convoy" by CW McCall! In Southern parlance I'd been "talking to a man about a dog" and now my mind was racing! Now granted Convoy is an extraordinarily stupid song but it was a hit, mostly due to the rural/ truck driving culture that was a fad of sorts in the 70's and early 80's. People flocked to the theater's to watch artistic gems such as Convoy (yes it was a movie, so was Harper Valley PTA!), "Breaker, Breaker" (starring a young Chuck Norris) & "Smokey and the Bandit"! Clint Eastwood was "Philo Beddoe" and beat the crap out of many a meat packer and left Pacoma littered with the bodies of Black Widow's in his "Any Which Way but Loose" movies (still entertaining), this was spun off for TV with "BJ and The Bear" because there's nothing more amusing than the combination of long haul truck driving and sidekick apes.

I guess I've been wondering what has happened to the "story song" genre (Rap doesn't count)? When I was really small I loved Jimmy Dean's "Big Bad John" and Marty Robbin's "El Paso" ("Big Iron" is great too!). Johnny Horton had big hits with "The Battle of New Orleans" and "North to Alaska". The first one I really liked was Larry Verne's "Mr. Custer" (Hey Charlie duck your head!), that was a real classic! Kenny Roger's (props to Brian Gooch & Grandma Smart) was the last performer I can think of that could pull the "story song" out of his tool box and was able to make some made for TV movies as a result as well. It's sad we've lost this bit of Americana but maybe we don't have any stories to tell anymore, the music/entertainment industry is so crass and profane now maybe it's a good thing.

Capital to Capital Century 2010- A Saturday in Hell

It's been two days since I completed the Cap2Cap Century and I'm still amazed that I finished.

This was my third consecutive year riding this relatively flat 100 mile route and I felt fairly well prepared to put in a good day "in the saddle". It's not a race mind you, but I do enjoy competing against myself and trying to improve my best time. While I don't have as many miles in at this point as I did last year (weather, work, etc), I'm certainly not in bad shape by any means. Miles wise January and February were meager. In March I squeezed in 300 miles. April was very good and I pounded out 500. I do the bulk of this on weekends and an occasional office week. Plus, I've spent much of the last year focusing on overall conditioning and I'm feeling like I'm in the best shape of my life overall.

That being said, when I woke up Saturday morning I felt like I could at least equal last year's time of 5 hours and 15 minutes. At 7:30 am a couple hundred of us rolled out on the road to Colonial Williamsburg. Much of the route is absolutely beautiful and the scenery is amazing. We cut through small towns and pass Colonial era plantations on heavily shaded roads. Sometimes the smell of the honeysuckle and gardenia is overpowering!

I jumped into a really decent pace line of about 20 riders and after warming up we were steaming along at an average speed of about 25 mph! I took a couple of good pulls at the front and we rolled into the first rest area. I refilled my bottles and ate a banana and a Clif bar. About 10 minutes later we were off again and clipping along at a good pace. As we were going past some open fields I noticed that we were being helped by a very stiff tailwind and our average speed was now around 32 or 33 mph. While this was deliriously fun heading toward the turn around point, I knew if the wind didn't change directions it would be a suck fest of mammoth proportions on the way back.

At the 50 mile turnaround I ate, drank, and relaxed in the shade for a little bit. It was starting to get hot and the wind was really picking up. I don't like sitting for too long because you start to stiffin' up, so I decided to get moving. I was talking with one of the ride volunteers when someone started yapping over his radio that they need an ambulance somewhere. A rider had been blown into another rider and they both went down pretty hard! Yikes! I took off with a couple of other guys and as we were heading over the James River bridge the wind felt UNREAL! I thought it was because we were on a bridge (duh!) but that was not the case. The bridge is not long, nor steep but it seemed to take forever to cross. We were going about 12 mph!

Once we crossed the river and got into the tree line it was a little better, but not much. We wanted to form an echelon, a great way to get in someones draft in a crosswind. But that doesn't work to well on a fairly well traveled road. The choice was echelon and risk getting thumped by a car or suffer in the wind. We chose the wind. The next 50 miles was by far the worst physical suffering I've ever felt in my life! We tried to stay together but eventually we were separated. You want to help a guy, but you can only do so much. You just go at whatever pace you think you can maintain. I did everything I could think of to distract myself from the pain. I said my Rosary. I asked every Saint I could think of to pray for me. I said an unknown number of Hail Mary's. I recited every prayer I could think of several times over.

The last 25 or 30 miles were a nightmare of freakish pain! I Filled my bottles at the last rest stop and ate again. I was only there about five minutes and took off again with Robert. Robert and I had ridden about 50 miles together off and on during the ride. He unintentionally dropped me on the first "hill" and he was a constant dot on the horizon for the next 15 miles or so. I finally caught him, and unintentionally dropped him about 2 miles later. I actually wanted to quit with 12 miles to go, then I saw a pair of crap filled white jockey shorts laying on the side of the road! How FREAKING BIZARRE! I've seen a lot of debris on the side of the road in my time but I can honestly say that was a first! I thought "if you quit with twelve miles to go after all you've been through today that will sum it all up"! So I put my head down and kept going. With three miles to go I had another first, my quads started cramping like mad! I had to put pressure on certain points to keep them from totally imploding.

When I finally crossed the line I was emotionally spent. I felt nothing whatsoever. No joy. No sense of accomplishment. Nothing. I just sat on a chair and tried not to fall over. I started feeling light headed and having sharp stomach cramps and decided to use a Port o' John. After a few minutes in there the cramps started to get so bad that I decided it was time to vamoose! I didn't want to pass out and die in a portable crapper. That's not a noble way to go and would not sit well with the wife and kids. So I staggered over to some grass and layed down for about 20 minutes.

Finally I felt good enough to partake of the lunch they provided. I had some "Buzz and Ned's" barbecue and tried to drink as much as I could. Carol came and picked me up. She'd been at the soccer fields all day with the girls and was worried about me when she saw how windy it was. Sunday I was not feeling too hot at all, but I'm doing much better today. I still feel extremely weak, but the stomach cramps are almost gone.

I'll be working in Albany this week. Usually I'd already be thinking about the upcoming weekends rides. At the moment it's the last thing I want to think about.

End Result- 103 miles in 6 hours, 5 minutes.

"Barkeep, Give Me a Shackelton's OTR Stat"!

Since we live in a country chock full o' metro sexuals and other wussified males, many of whom would stay jobless if they couldn't find a job in their "field of expertise", imagine what kind of man it took to answer the following 1907 ad...

“Wanted. Men for hazardous journey. Low wages. Bitter cold. Long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in the event of success.”

Men of a different time, no doubt about it. With the conditions (freezing temps, stiff winds, cobbled roads) of the early classics almost upon us, imagine that ad running in some small Belgian paper. If you're not familiar with the tale of Shackleton and "The Endurance", you should be!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Shackleton

Ernest Shackleton would have made one hell of a patron!

Of all the discoveries a modern day adventurer could make, this has to be amongst the coolest (literally)!

Shackleton's whisky stash recovered

(UKPA) – 6 hours ago

A stash of whisky which lay buried under Antarctic ice for more than 100 years has been recovered by a team restoring explorer Ernest Shackleton's hut.

The spirit, five crates in total, was made by McKinlay and Co, and drinks group Whyte & Mackay has asked for a sample to carry out tests with a view to re-launching the brand.

New Zealand Antarctic Heritage Trust team leader Al Fastier said the team thought there were two whisky and brandy crates and were amazed to find five.

Mr Fastier said restoration workers found the crates under the hut's floorboards in 2006, but they were too deeply embedded in ice to be dislodged.

The New Zealanders agreed to drill the ice to try to retrieve some bottles, although the rest must stay under conservation guidelines agreed to by 12 Antarctic Treaty nations.

Ice has cracked some of the crates and formed inside them. Mr Fastier said that would make extracting the contents delicate, but the trust would decide how to do so in the coming weeks.

Richard Paterson, master blender at Whyte & Mackay, whose company supplied the Mackinlay's whisky for Shackleton, described the find as "a gift from the heavens for whisky lovers".

He added: "If the contents can be confirmed, safely extracted and analysed, the original blend may be able to be replicated. Given the original recipe no longer exists, this may open a door into history."

Shackleton's expedition ran short of supplies on its long ski trek to the South Pole from the northern Antarctic coast in 1907/09 and turned back about 100 miles short of its goal.

The expedition sailed away in 1909 as winter ice formed, leaving behind supplies, including the whisky and brandy.

Copyright © 2010 The Press Association. All rights reserved.

Requiem in Pace- Richard Kite

On Veteran's Day 2009, one of the best friends I've ever had went on to his eternal reward. Dick was a fine Christian man, dedicated Patriot, and the most quietly charitable man you'd ever meet. A widower for a number of years, he lived very modestly, and used his income to help those in need. He was always happy, and never complained about trials in his life.

Every Veteran's day he would walk the grounds of Arlington National Cemetery and pay his respects. This last time he came home and quietly passed away. He was kind enough to let me stay at his home in Alexandria, Virginia every time I worked in the D.C. area. He always insisted on taking me out to dinner at Lonestar Steakhouse or at Hee Been, a Korean restaurant. He was a Bluegrass aficionado and could really play his guitar!

When I initially became interested in learning about Catholicism, Dick was the first person I spoke with and he was able to answer my questions, and straighten out my misconceptions.

Fittingly, The last time I saw him was at my baptism on October 17th at Our Lady of Fatima here in Richmond. He took my family and I out to dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant afterwards and we had a great time. My wife and children loved him.

We will miss him dearly.

His funeral Mass was at Saint Mary Mother of God Roman Catholic Church in Washington D.C. It was an overwhelmingly beautiful Latin service. The following Sequence was chanted by a group of priests (in Latin) from a balcony in the cathedral. It was simply amazing.

1. Day of wrath and doom impending, David's word with Sibyl's blending, Heaven and earth in ashes ending.

2. O what fear man's bosom rendeth, When from Heaven the Judge descendeth, On whose sentence all dependeth.

3. Wondrous sound the trumpet flingeth, Through earth's sepulchers it ringeth, All before the throne it bringeth.

4. Death is struck, and nature quaking, All creation is awaking, To its Judge an answer making.

5. Lo, the book exactly worded, Wherein all hath been recorded, Thence shall judgement be awarded.

6. When the Judge His seat attaineth, And each hidden deed arraigneth, Nothing unavenged remaineth.

7. What shall I, frail man, be pleading? Who for me be interceding, When the just are mercy needing?

8. King of majesty tremendous, Who dost free salvation send us, Fount of pity, then befriend us.

9. Think, kind Jesus, my salvation, Caused thy wondrous incarnation, Leave me not to reprobation.

10. Faint and weary thou has sought me, On the cross of suffering bought me, Shall such grace be vainly brought me?

11. Righteous Judge, for sin's pollution, Grant thy gift of absolution, Ere the day of retribution.

12. Guilty now I pour my moaning, All my shame with anguish owning, Spare, O God, Thy suppliant groaning.

13. Through the sinful woman shriven, through the dying thief forgiven, Thou to me a hope hast given.

14. Worthless are my prayers and sighing, Yet, good Lord, in grace complying, Rescue me from fires undying.

15. With thy sheep a place provide me, From the goats afar divide me, To Thy right hand do Thou guide me.

16. When the wicked are confounded, Doomed to flames of woe unbounded, Call me with Thy Saints surrounded.

17. Low I kneel with heart's submission, See, like ashes, my contrition, Help me in my last condition.

18. Ah! that day of tears and mourning, From the dust of earth returning.

19. Man for judgement must prepare him, Spare O God, in mercy spare him.

20. Lord all pitying, Jesus blest, Grant them Thine eternal rest. Amen.